I Like Square Butts

The King 'Offends' Parents Nationwide

 

In the latest commercial from Burger King features their now famous King mascot dancing to a SpongeBob Squarepants themed parody version of Sir-Mix-Alot's hit song "Baby Got Back", Which might I add Is actually done by Sir-Mix-Alot himself leading me to believe he is a bit low on cash. The commercial shows the King measuring women's "square" asses and features more closeups than any children's commercial ever should. Unlike most crazy things people get offended by, I can see where the people that are upset about this commercial are coming from.

 

The commercial has little to do with food or SpongeBob it is just creepy really. I really don't know what Burger King's advertising department was going for on this one, It is degrading to women, and has more sex appeal that anyone eating a kids meal should get. OK I will admit if you excuse the fact that the booty idolizing song isn't fit for kids and you have a pretty catchy Burger King commercial, and given its original air debut during the NCAA championships I don't think it was made to appeal to kids as much as it was the dad's that buy fast food.

 

The song itself is quite raunchy at times one verse stating, "Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him, Wanna push his pores and tease him" in reference to SpongeBob (I hear worse during American Idol but no matter, continue please...). I mean really did Nickelodeon sign up for this somebody had to say "this might not be the best idea" or something to that affect. Now, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the commercial personally, but this was a commercial for kids meals and toys likely not geared for the adult SpongeBob viewers. The part that I personally didn't like was at the end when Sir-Mix-Alot says "Booty is Booty," what the hell that is something I would say to my mid 20 year old friends about "doing" an ugly chick.

 

The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (a liberal/left/communist organization no doubt) director Susan Linn Said in a statement "It's bad enough when companies use a beloved media character like SpongeBob to promote junk food to children, but it's utterly reprehensible when that character simultaneously promotes objectified, sexualized images of women." This is pretty well put even if the commercial was good it was not suited for the audience it was supposed to be directed towards. In the end this commercial made a lot of fathers and kids laugh but at the cost of losing a good number of women costumers.

And now, for your entertainment, no matter whom it offends:

 

I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can't deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts

 

All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles

 

Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
'Cuz you're making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
'Cuz everybody knows that 'He so spongey!'

 

Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don't bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it

 

Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He's hatin'... wet
He's got Sponge Bob runnin' his set

 

I'm tired of all these chairs
They don't accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square back

 

Mr. Krab! (yeah)
Patrick! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle butt

 

Sponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don't trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain't got nothin' to do with Bob's selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That's how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)

 

A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub 'til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin' on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won't admit it
But they'd wear that gear if they could fit it

 

You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don't taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him

 

But Sponge Bob ain't gonna have too much of that squeezin'
You other sponges don't want none unless you rock square buns!

 

To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain't it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon

Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won't let 'em

 

If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring

 

Sponge Bob got back!

 

:)

 

p.s.: Remember, if you got a flat ass, then you got Square-butt as well!

 

I like Square Butts!