Super Bowl

Not being know as one to polarize anyone in any manner whatsoever, I am going to have to root for the Arizona Cardinals this year. It seems that Johannah's boyfriend Jason is a BIG BIG BIG Steelers fan, so I'm going to man up, cook my wings and bean dip, and root against his Steelers, at his place, no less.     There may be blood.   I just cannot bring myself to root for another Pennsylvanian team (I was pro-Phillies for the WS), and it would be a blow to freedom and all we stand for if Pittsburgh and Ben Uselessberger won the Super Bowl this year.   Go Cards!   p.s.: Bob, have you mistakely called that little kitty "Di" yet? Or perhaps, "Die! Die! Die!", huh? Eh, ya feelin' me? hey, yah?

Three Things...

"There are only three things you can't fake: talent, smarts, and an erection."

What can I say...

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, (i'd be depressed too if they owned me) in a dramatic incident that rattled, (where was he bitten?) the ex-president's wife.

The couple's white Maltese (home of the first fire dept in the world, fire fighting monks) poodle,(notice it's not a 'French Poodle)'called Sumo, (I wonder if it's fat like chirac), has a history of frenzied fits, (hissy fits?) and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks", (like george bush?) despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, (like, it seems everybody over here) Chirac's wife Bernadette said.

"If you only knew! I had a dramatic day yesterday," (quote the drama queen) she told VSD magazine, (VSD, very sexual deviant edition). "Sumo bit my husband!" (i want the offspring of this dog)

Mrs. Chirac, 74, did not reveal, (she hasn't seen it in a while, the mistress has) where the former president was bitten, (we know it wasn't his nuts. he doesn't have any)but said, "the dog went for him for no apparent reason." (the shock! the shock of it all!)

"We were aware the animal was unpredictable and is being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly but he is certain to make a full recovery in weeks." (maybe they can add a sack)

Chirac was taken to a hospital in Paris where he was treated as an outpatient and later sent home. (walking bow legged)

The 76-year-old was president of France for 12 years until 2007.

Interesting Show

Celeste and I watched an interesting show last night - I think the name was "International Dance" or something like that. Different dance troupes, couples and individuals competed in a team competition. And here is the rub: NO STARS, NO SIMON, NO PAULA, NO RANDII!!! it was actually quite entertaining...

Also, whilst cleaning our living room over the weekend and relocating the TV and furniture, we came across a discovery: A DVD from somebody's anniversary party (the label was illegibleas to whose it was). So Let's give this a whirl, ok kids?

Picture #1: Dave and Joe
Picture #2: Dave, Joe and some other guy
Picture #3: Dave and Joe
Picture #4: Dave and Joe and somebody else
Picture #5: Dave and Christa....

My question is this: When did Dave and Joe get married and why were we not invited to "Dave and Joe's 25th Anniversary Party"? I'm deeply insulted and you've hurt my feelings...

I blame Christa...Tee hee hee...

Marine Rotorhead

GREETINGS FROM THE FREEZING STATE

Hi gang,

Christmas has passed, and we missed all of you.

Mark still cracks me up with the American Idol stuff. Whats with the kitten? Way too many jokes running in my head about that. Keep in touch guy's, the kids miss you all and constantly speak about you. Hope to see you all for a visit maybe June when the Sox are in town?

Poor Richard's Almanack

Written by Ben Franklin, 1733 to 1758, under the pen name of "Poor" Richard Saunders, fictional astrologer, while a printer in Philadelphia. Many of the quotes were Americanized from Greek and English literature.   Famous aphorisms:   "With the old Almanack and the old year Leave thy old vices, tho-ever so dear" - New Year's Resolutions   "He that riseth late must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night."   "Well done is better than well said." "People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages."   "Little strokes fell great oaks."   "If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles."   "One today is worth two tomorrows."   "He that by the plow would thrive, Himself must either hold or drive."   "Laziness travels so slowly that Poverty soon overtakes him."

Meet Diamond

OUCH!!!

Todays's Cuss! Live as I type.
I'm sitting here, typing this and I have my dog, Dante, sitting in my lap. He's being really squirmy, won't sit still and keeps bumping my hand from the mouse and the keyboard. You go to click on something and he bumps the cursor to another area that I don't want to go to. Every time I put him back on the floor he just jumps right back up. Dante is an Italian Greyhound. He's a black and white one. Mainly white with large black spots and a black bandit mask that going white on his face. He's approaching nine years old and he still can run close to 35 mph. In other words, he's all legs. So anyway he's squirming around here on me because he's being tortured by his new little sister. At least I thing it's a sister. I found a very tiny black and white kitten two days ago and brought 'it' home. They've become fast friends except when Dante, who not fixed, tries to grab the kitten, who's name is going to be Diamond, and use he/her/it to his personal, shall we say, pleasure.
Oh, what to do? What to do?
Obviously, the kitten is used to dogs. But I don't know if he/her/it is used to dogs in this particular vain, if you get my drift. There is a kind of role reversal going on. Dante, who my neighbors have called a cat in a dogs outfit, they just can't find the zipper, is the one who runs across the top of the furniture and looks down at the cat who's on the floor. Dante is the one who sleeps on top of the back cushions. The kitten, who also happens to be black and white, sleeps at your feet. What's with that?
So anyway, I'm trying to type, Dante's in my lap, squirming and moving around, and the kitten keeps trying to climb my legs. Dante is trying to keep the kitten off of me while at the same time trying to do unnatural things to the cat. Tiny claws are reeking havoc on my calves. I'm trying to be a proper parent to animals that don't know what a parent is.
I'll post a picture of the two of them soon. And no! None of that unnatural stuff. I want to keep a clean, like the little stab wounds in my calves...

Demographically, Where are you?

American Idol:   FOX won the night among Adults 18-49 (Bob and Di - you're too old for this demographic, even though it IS the relatively old-people's demographic. I guess they don't expect 50+'ers to watch Idol, probably thinking you have better sense than that...or maybe not?), Total Viewers, Adults 18-34, Teens and all key demos.  In fact, FOX outperformed the combined four network competition (ABC, CBS, NBC, CW) for the night by +17% in Adults 18-49 (11.6 vs. 9.9), +23% in Adults 18-34 (9.7 vs. 7.9), +145% among Teens (10.8 vs. 4.4) and its nearest competitor for the night, CBS by +85% in Total Viewers (30.1 vs. 16.3 Mil).   Interesting to note the huge numbers in the Teen category. [Warning: Rhetorical Question]Is "Idol" for teeny-boppers? Has it ever NOT been for teeny-boppers? Are you living vicariously through your children in some fantasy world? Oh the Humanity! Oh David Crook We Love You! Where is Carrie Underwear? Kelly Fartson? Argghhhhhhh........!!!!   Good Grief...

Idle thought's collected during internet hiatus....Or I'm Back

Sorry Mark.
That's I D L E, not your favorite whipping boy.





Bruins & Celtics tore through the month of December, hit a little bump (New Years hangover)
the first week of January, and now appear to be back on track.





Wondering when Mark & Celeste are gonna finally tie the knot?
Me too. Whenever the blessed(?) day comes I nominate the following as cake topper

The state of the economy being what it is, I wonder what effect Marks abstinence has had on the Jack Daniels Co. (Buy low)

Much more to say, but alas work rears it's ugly head.

OMG!

[That's "OH MY GOD!" In Christa-Speak]   One thing American Idol has proved is that winning a television karaoke contest doesn't guarantee people are going to buy your CDs. (Note to Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood: You are the exceptions.)   But another thing Idol has proved even more is that if you build an addictive (like cigs) reality (? - what is 'real' about it?) TV show with dynamic (what? you mean asshole...) judges, a pretty host (who? WOOF WOOF) and very slightly talented contestants (Take Note Edgehillers), they, as in viewers, as in lemmings, as in the brain-dead, will come.   DEF: lemming: a member of any group following an unthinking course towards destruction     Even though singers such as Ruben "Name ANY sandwich after me so you do not forget me" Who? and That David "I should not have won against that pretty-boy Archuleta but the contest is rigged" Guy aren't having lustrous post-Idol careers (you don't say...I've had more success in the porn industry...but I digress), that doesn't mean people won't be curious to see how Season 8 goes down (the toilet, hopefully) -- starting with tonight's two-hour audition (ok, they are not auditions) episode on Fox and CTV. In fact, haters who say the show has run its course (it has - It's just the public is too stupid to realize it yet. Kinda like the "Pet Rock") are only kidding themselves. Millions of people are going to be tuning in again this season -- and maybe even next season, too.   Oh Joy.   The disinfecting of American TV continues.    Question: Did the Bruins - Canadiens even get a peek last night from that side of the street?

And for those of you...

...who are still imitating plant life with your entertainment selections, let's recap the 'awesome' changes that will guarantee to make "American Idol" into "American Idle":   1) Fewer Trainwrecks! In an effort to bring some more "credibility" to the show, fewer freaks (Mary Roach), delusional dorks (Michael Sandecki), and hot messes (William Hung) will be featured during the auditions. 2) Character Development! With Hollywood Week finally becoming Hollywood Weeks, we'll actually get to know the contestants and their stories, unlike in years past when the Top 12 could easily consist of strangers. (Who cares?, and WHERE IS DAVID COOK NOW? WHERE I ASK YOU????) 3) Egos Take Over!: For the first time since the show's second season, the judges will select the final three contestants that will comprise the Top 12. "The Power Of Me" by Paula, Randy and that English/Aussie asshole (I cannot tell, mate!).   4) Gender Disproportion! With the semi-final round being comprised of 36 contestants -- as opposed to the usual 24 -- and with the judges determining the wild-cards, the makeup of the Top 12 won't necessarily be split evenly among males and females. Damn! CAn we get a trans-gender in there too? Make it a real freak show...    5) New Bitch In Town! The new kid on the block is songwriter-producer Kara DioGuardi, the mastermind behind Xtina's "Ain't No Other Man," Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl," and Pink's latest hit, "Sober." Will she rely on her professional experience like Randy (Well, the keys in Journey were barely passable...)? Will she battle with Simon (kick him in the pills, please...)? Will she ultimately replace Paula(..or at least get her to change her underwear you skanky beeeyatch!)? (All parties deny this rumor). Will she tell it like it is and risk hurting the contestants' feelings(Boo freakety-hoo)? 6) Who says 'Shorter isn't Better?' Ladies? Wednesday night's results show will be pared down from one hour to 30 minutes. I'll wait for the final video to come out titled "How to mess up a perfectly bad show."  It's actually a shame that the show does not run in late october. It would be fun to see Dave justify (being forced to by christa?) into watching American Idol over a Red Sox playoff game, backward Sox Tatoo and all...   :) "Teach only Love, for that is what you are."

American What?

[Close your eyes and try to imagine Christa, Diane, Bob or David speaking the following words. It's really very, very easy, especially the part about "I should be ashamed of myself..."]   "When Jordin Sparks was crowned "American Idol's" sixth season champ back in the spring of 2007, I swore I'd never watch the reality wreck again. Why? Let me count the ways: 1) She couldn't belt it out like Kelly Clarkson, 2) She couldn't emote like Fantasia, and 3) She couldn't captivate a crowd like Carrie Underwood. Oh, and she was beyond boring. Despite my disappointment, I tuned in the following year to witness faux rocker David Cook sweep the floor with that Monchichi lookalike David Archuleta. Was it lackluster? That's an understatement. Did I still watch every single minute of every single episode? Yes. Will I do the same for the upcoming season? Without a doubt. I should be ashamed of myself, but at this point, I'm too lazy and addicted to care what anyone thinks of me. "Idol" is my guiltiest pleasure, and I've come to embrace it. However, just because I'm tuning in, doesn't mean that everyone else will join me on January 13 when Season 8 kicks off."   [The distinct sound of Dave chucking off my back porch fills the air; Christa begins to whine - "I want to go on a cruise, Dave!"; Diane *still* thinks she's 'special'; and Bob is, well, Bob; and keep that goddam cat/dog off my yard!]

Who's Killing Who?

In 2005, when Israel was still an occupying force, Gaza lost more young men to gang fights and crime than in its war against the "Zionist enemy." Despite the media's obsession with the Mideast conflict, it has cost many fewer lives than the youth bulges in West Africa, Lebanon or Algeria. In the six decades since Israel's founding, "only" some 62,000 people (40,000 Arabs, 22,000 Jews) have been killed in all the Israeli-Arab wars and Palestinian terror attacks. During that same time, some 11 million Muslims have been killed in wars and terror attacks -- mostly at the hands of other Muslims.   Religion Of Peace?

Romantic Weekend

Ah! Monday Morning

Common Sense

Thomas Paine published "Common Sense" on this day in 1776, setting the american colonies in their quest for independence.   http://www.ushistory.org/paine/commonsense/   The first shots of the Civil War were fired on this day in 1861 upon the merchant ship "Star of the West" in Charleston Harbor.   Richard "Tricky Dicky" Nixon was born on this day in 1913 in Yorba Linda, California.

Mark's type of War

Thank ya very much!

Happy birthday Elvis! Tupelo Honey!   Perspective Check: In 1987, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 2,000 for the first time. Today it sits at 8,600 and change.   Andrew Jackson whipped the British in the Battle of New Orleans on this day, the final major battle of the War of 1812. Two weeks prior, the Americans and British signed a peace treaty in Ghent, Belgium. Unfortunately for the 2,000 or so dead british, the internet had not yet been invented by Al Gore.   :)

Different Dice Game

Maybe we can try this dice game when the alcohol seeps in and your brains stop working.   It's called Bunko, and here is a variation of it for 6 players.   There are three 'tables' - high, middle, low. Two players sit at each 'table'. Roll to see who goes first at each table, high roll going first, and wins tiebreaks at end of round for purposes of player movement. Then we begin!   Each game has six rounds. The goal is to roll the number of the round. Therefore, the first round is #1 and you would score points if you can roll 1's. Each target number you roll scores 1 point for you. Three of a kind of the target number scores 21 points for you, and 3 of a kind of a non-target number scores 5 points for you. You roll until you do not score for that round, then pass the dice to your opponent.   Ex; Dave and Christa are at the 'high' table. Round 1: Dave rolls three 6's, scores 5 points (non-target number trips). Dave rolls 1-4-4 and scores 1, for a total of 6. Dave rolls 2-5-3 and passes to christa. Christa rolls...then when she fails to score passes to Dave. Dave then wants to roll 1's again...etc., etc. This happens until 'A round ends...' below.   A round ends when the 'High Table' reaches 21 points. Players at the high table yell 'BUNKO!'. The round ends immediately (dice in motion DO NOT COUNT).   When that happens, each table compares their points. The winning teams from the middle table move up to the high table, the low table winners move to the middle and the high table losers move to the low table. Ties go to first player each table!   After this goes for 6 rounds, compare total scores. Winner is the one with the most points.    This game is usually played by post-menstrual/hot-flash women looking to escape from the vagaries of life for an evening.   I won't go there. "Teach only Love, for that is what you are."

Hello Potatoes!

Potatoes:   [Dave: Fried; Bob: Boiled; Christa: Salty/Bitchy; Di: Mime/Hum tater tots in creole sauce]   Ok, I'm going to throw this out there.   Is anyone interested in learning Magic The Gathering? It takes a minimal investment of <$20 for a pre-built deck if you want your own, or, borrow one of the 7 or 8 I own already, some patience, some decision-making skills, and a decent session of one-on-one card gaming with me, and repetition (i.e., play more than once a month). I am pretty familiar with the game once I get the rust off, and what is great about it is that once we learn it, you can play multiplayer/team games which are a blast to play. I've played up to 4 v. 4 games, 8 player free-for-alls, and one vs. one games (the funnest). C'Mon people, broaden your horizons!   And if Christa is nice I will trade my Black "Unicorn Feast" card to her so she can take it out of play and feel all warm and fuzzy. You know, the card with the unicorn head with an apple stuck in it's mouth on a serving plate surrounded by a bunch of goblins ready to chow it down...that one.   Nummy Nums!   Trying to expand our gaming horizons...   Think 'Red Water...'   "Teach only Love, for that is what you are."

Tonight

No game night tonight for me. Not feeling well. "Teach only Love, for that is what you are."