More Zany Stuff: Dave's Favorite TV Programs and Movies

Dave's favorite Television shows

1) American Idol

2) Whatever Christa tells him he likes (big meany)

 

Dave's Favorite Movies

1) The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants I and II

2) Funny Girl

3) High School Musical 1, 2, and 3

4) Whatever Christa tells him he likes (big meany)

 

Dave's Favorite Sports/Teams

1) The Boston Der Xos (Boston's soon to be National League Team - figure it out yourself - hint: The 'sox' are backwards...)

2) The Yankees (cuz we know the truth and the truth is out there)

3) The entire WBA league (cuz so many men cannot be wrong)

4) Whatever Christa tells him he likes (cus she is just a big meany)

5) NASCAR

 

That's all I got....breaks up the day nicely, yah?

 

:)

 

Love ya man. Slow day, I know. Bored to tears, but it kills time.

 

Hey, Friday night wanna hit Louie's for the Bruins Game? Place will be rockin' I bet. Let us know.

 

Sports Update Rant

First of all: I must warn the Les Macs that you may lose all respect if you read this posting, so do so at your own risk. It hurts me to write it as much as it may hurt you to read it. Kinda like that ass-burning feeling you get the next day after consuming a whole jar of Habenero peppers...yah, like that. *That* kind of hurt. That burning, itching, Spongebob Squarebutt hurt.

 

<RANT>

I do this sports update rant as a public service to my neighbors whom, for some godforesaken reason, decided the Celtic Playoffs and Red Sox game were not important enough to overshadow shitty American Idol. So, without further ado:

 

Sox lost 9-8 on an error by Javier Lopez. The rest of the game was forgettable, especially from a pitching standpoint, but that is why we watch them right? Bay did make a nice catch down the left-field line, however. Lugo was terrible on the field, good at the plate. Rust.

 

The Celtics, sans Garnett and sans Ray Allen after he fouled out, won a 'thrilla' 106-104 in OT. Paul Pierce performed his majic on the court in the last minute plus to give the Celts the victory in OT.

 

Now, I know that is not much of a sports update, as I am want to usually expound vociferously upon the home teams accomplishments and failings, but that is not the issue here.

 

The real issue is this:

 

If you were the self-proclaimed "Biggest Red Sox Fan Eva" (regardless of the 'alignment' of your tatoos), would you watch a borderline talentless hollywood karaoke wannabee show in lieu of a Red Sox game? Or, even worse, a Celtics PLAYOFF game? Would ya? I have lost all respect. Actually, check that. I never had respect, so I cannot lose what I do not have, but you get the idea. I mean, I can understand Bobby not watching, and even he is watching the Bruins! The humanity!

 

And, even further, would you even consider saying 'Celts Playoffs? Nah. Rather watch American Idol.' I DARE you to repeat those words on Yawkey Way or at "The Gahden" ... I'm pretty sure a true Sox Fan/Celtics Fan/Boston Fan would NEVER utter those words, and there you have it. I am now completely convinced that there is a Yankee Fan underneath impersonating a Red Sox Fan. I think if we looked under that 'Sox' tatoo we'd see the "Yankee Blue and White" logo, not to mention a NY Thong with matching earrings, cuz, you know, he must be a total chick to even think about doing that. And don't give me that crap about "I did it for the wife." It's not Saturday so nooky is not in play! Besides, angry sex is far better, even if it does scare you. Ooh! Piece of Candy! Oooh! Piece of Candy!

 

Reminds me of that "This is Not Boston" commercial where the so-called Sox Fan is in his kitchen calling his buddies up trying to give away a pair of tickets to the game. I mean, c'mon!

 

I suppose if "I Like Square Butts" offends then anything is possible.

 

A truly pathetic display of a lack of sportmanship if ever there was one.

 

Monkberry Moon Delight! Ketchup! Soup and Puree! Billy Budapest! Cats and Kittens!

 

:)

</RANT>

Got Moto?

I Like Square Butts

The King 'Offends' Parents Nationwide

 

In the latest commercial from Burger King features their now famous King mascot dancing to a SpongeBob Squarepants themed parody version of Sir-Mix-Alot's hit song "Baby Got Back", Which might I add Is actually done by Sir-Mix-Alot himself leading me to believe he is a bit low on cash. The commercial shows the King measuring women's "square" asses and features more closeups than any children's commercial ever should. Unlike most crazy things people get offended by, I can see where the people that are upset about this commercial are coming from.

 

The commercial has little to do with food or SpongeBob it is just creepy really. I really don't know what Burger King's advertising department was going for on this one, It is degrading to women, and has more sex appeal that anyone eating a kids meal should get. OK I will admit if you excuse the fact that the booty idolizing song isn't fit for kids and you have a pretty catchy Burger King commercial, and given its original air debut during the NCAA championships I don't think it was made to appeal to kids as much as it was the dad's that buy fast food.

 

The song itself is quite raunchy at times one verse stating, "Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him, Wanna push his pores and tease him" in reference to SpongeBob (I hear worse during American Idol but no matter, continue please...). I mean really did Nickelodeon sign up for this somebody had to say "this might not be the best idea" or something to that affect. Now, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the commercial personally, but this was a commercial for kids meals and toys likely not geared for the adult SpongeBob viewers. The part that I personally didn't like was at the end when Sir-Mix-Alot says "Booty is Booty," what the hell that is something I would say to my mid 20 year old friends about "doing" an ugly chick.

 

The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (a liberal/left/communist organization no doubt) director Susan Linn Said in a statement "It's bad enough when companies use a beloved media character like SpongeBob to promote junk food to children, but it's utterly reprehensible when that character simultaneously promotes objectified, sexualized images of women." This is pretty well put even if the commercial was good it was not suited for the audience it was supposed to be directed towards. In the end this commercial made a lot of fathers and kids laugh but at the cost of losing a good number of women costumers.

And now, for your entertainment, no matter whom it offends:

 

I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can't deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts

 

All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles

 

Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
'Cuz you're making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
'Cuz everybody knows that 'He so spongey!'

 

Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don't bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it

 

Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He's hatin'... wet
He's got Sponge Bob runnin' his set

 

I'm tired of all these chairs
They don't accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square back

 

Mr. Krab! (yeah)
Patrick! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle butt

 

Sponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don't trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain't got nothin' to do with Bob's selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That's how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)

 

A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub 'til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin' on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won't admit it
But they'd wear that gear if they could fit it

 

You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don't taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him

 

But Sponge Bob ain't gonna have too much of that squeezin'
You other sponges don't want none unless you rock square buns!

 

To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain't it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon

Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won't let 'em

 

If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring

 

Sponge Bob got back!

 

:)

 

p.s.: Remember, if you got a flat ass, then you got Square-butt as well!

 

I like Square Butts!

 

 

Nascar experiments with new competition.

Nascar introduced its new parking competition yesterday. They included a 'See how fast a driver can park their car in a parralel style while turning right'. It was a huge hit with the fans and became will become a staple for new viewership.




And for it's 'Grand Finaly', they introduce the new Nascar Commercial, 'Come Fly With Me', or in my home, Carl flew and Diane croaked.





Actually it was Carl Edwards was mimicing his favorite winter sport...

How Big?

It was huge.

 

It was mega-huge.

 

It was so big I couldn't believe it.

 

To get an idea of the hugeness:

 

Spread your arms out like wings and measure the distance from your left fingertips to your right elbow.

 

That's how big. That's how huge.

 

I'm talking about a TV. What did you think I was talking about? And that was the TV I watched NASCAR and the Sox on last night.

 

Big-Ass TV.

 

Thanks Jason and Joey!

 

 

 

 

Wake up Sleepy heads

Hi there Edgehill Gang.

Remember these days?

Tomorrow.

Sox vs. Yanks!

84 degreees!

Burgers, Dogs, something. anything on the grill!

Cold Sam Summer!

Well?

(An aside to Mark) Don't bring the honey!

Why is this news?

"Paula has trouble introducing the "Idols," and Simon gets upset with Ryan." -Aw, poor Paula, poor Ryan, poor Simon.

 

"An allegedly bad performance by Beyoncé turns out to be a complete fabrication." - Wait - you mean she actually sang well? First time for everything I suppose...

 

"Just last August, for example, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi (butt ugly, even for a kid) was deprived of singing in person at the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics in Beijing because Chinese officials judged her to be not good-looking enough." - That's like depriving Dave entrance to Fenway because he does not have enough Sox paraphenalia on or, because his 'tats' are ass-backwards. Go figure. There should be a law...

 

I got a better question: "Who considers this entertainment?"

 

Wow. We are truly a nation of lemmings waddling toward the cliffs of destruction. And when did Paula Poundstone get the Idol Gig? Why was I not told of this??? Jeez...

 

On a lighter, more legitimate subject, the Habs faultered 4 straight to the Mighty B's, putting an end to the question "Will the Canadiens win the cup this year?" and opens the question of "how long will it take them to fire Bob Gainey, sell the team, and dump salary?"

 

Green Machine: Parts are flying off it at an alarming rate. Band-aids cannot help them now. Be lucky to get out of the first round, really.

 

Red Sox: Thank GOD it looks like they will be 'around .500' by game 20. The thought of stripping Dave naked on Yawkey Way, pouring maple syrup on him and rolling him in an ant's nest, as much as he would enjoy that, sickens me. Think of the ants. That's ant abuse!

 

Revolution: Who fucking cares. Team cannot win the big one.

 

 

 

 

When are people going to wake up?

WASHINGTON -- Lanny Breuer, pitcher Roger Clemens' lawyer in a steroid investigation and President Bill Clinton's impeachment attorney, was confirmed by the Senate on Monday as chief of the Justice Department's criminal division.

Senators also confirmed Tony West, a lawyer for "American Taliban" John Walker Lindh, to lead the department's civil division and Christine Varney to head the antitrust division.

Breuer was confirmed by a vote of 88-0, Varney by 87-1 and West, 82-4.

The Senate also voted 73-17 to end a filibuster -- and allow a vote this week -- on the nomination of Christopher Hill to be ambassador to Iraq. Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., was critical of Hill's performance when the diplomat was the Bush administration's top negotiator with North Korea.

And the Beat goes on...

Congratulations Everybody!
All your work, sweat and equity that you put into your families can almost be yours today. For today is the day that the money you make might actually be yours. All that you have done before, all the money that you have worked hard for in 2009 has gone to the Government. Of course, at this time that does not include the dirty little secret taxes that they are slipping in everyday and the costs to your Great-Grandchildren that the absolute selfishness of OUR generation has gone on to produce. The abject laziness of the people who don't vote, or the fools who do vote in the very same arrogant politicians who were/are allowed and manufactured this crisis for their own political gain. And we, the people, have no one to blame but ourselves. All of you who turn around and say that this isn't your problem. Who say to themselves, stay out of it it only will bring me problems. Those who abdicate their responsibilities and cry about what has become. Those who see a kid smashing a glass bottle on the street and say to themselves it's not my problem because it's not my kid and besides the kid might come back and break the windows on my house. You can't run and hide anymore. You don't work for yourself or your very own family. The way things are going comrade we're heading to become the USSAW. The United Socialist States of America,World. Every socialist state HAS FAILED! Take a ride down the VFW Parkway and just after you pass the cemetery on your left, through the traffic lights, and you reach the crest of that small hill before you reach the headstone company, there is a road called, Brook Farm Road. It's where Socialism was first tried in the WORLD. It failed miserably. It's where the so called greatest literary minds of their time, Emerson, Thoreau, thought they knew best. They lasted approximately two years. The first failure of too many to count. Where do these politicians think that they could do better? How do the people that vote, vote them in again and again. Of course, the excuse is, "But they're a really nice guy and their really smart(?)". Country of Fools, you and me.
I'll end this diatribe with a quote from Santayana,
"Those who do not know their history are destined to repeat it."

Your Pal,
Bobby B.




from Michael Yon sent out in one of his dispatches today;

It was great to see our Navy rescue Captain Richard Phillips from the Somali criminals. Navy heroes rescued a civilian hero. Real life heroes were practically having a convention out there, which worked out poorly for the pirates. The pirates have been taking hostages and earning millions of dollars from countries that refuse stand up. Some pirates bumped into the United States and got killed. Now there is a report that a pirate leader is threatening revenge. If he is threatening revenge, then he should be targeted. This is serious business. Words such as "revenge" should be used with great discretion.

Piracy

Somali Piracy - Causes and Consequences
By Joe DeCapua Washington D.C 10 April 2009

The ongoing Somali piracy problem in the Gulf of Aden and Indian Ocean raises a number of legal and military issues about how to deal with the problem. Dr. J. Peter Pham, director of the Nelson Institute for International and Public Affairs at James Madison University, spoke to VOA about the causes and consequences of Somali piracy.

"Fundamentally, the piracy problem off the Somali coast arises out of the fundamental problem of statelessness on shore. There's not been an effective Somali government since 1991. So, without effective governing on shore you're going to have opportunities for criminals to engage in their enterprises with impunity," he says.

However, Pham says that's just one part of the problem. "The ransoms being paid by the shipping companies are also part of the problem. On one hand, from a purely economic point of view, it makes a great deal of sense if you have a cargo ship that is worth at least $20 to $30 million, it stands to reason that paying them a million dollars to get it back is an economically rational decision. Unfortunately, what might be in the selfish, self-interest of a single shipping company contributes to a general climate where the price of ransoms are bid up and there's incentive for more people to get involved in this lawlessness," he says.

A third component to the problem is the military response. Many nations, including the United States, have sent ships to the Gulf of Aden to protect shipping lanes.

Pham says, "Although the military response has focused attention on the piracy issue, perversely, it's made the problem more complicated. The military escorts…have certainly greatly ameliorated the piracy challenge in the Gulf of Aden…. On the other hand, as a result of that, the pirates have adapted and now switched their operations to the Somali base in the western part of the Indian Ocean. And unfortunately, there you have a far larger area and it's impossible with the military and naval resources on hand to fully patrol that area. That's why when the Maersk Alabama was taken the nearest vessel, the USS Bainbridge, was several hundred miles away."

In a sense, there's a historical link between the USS Bainbridge and the Maersk Alabama incident. "There's a great irony in the fact that the vessel, the USS Bainbridge, the destroyer on site, is the one it is. Commodore William Bainbridge was actually the hero of the two Barbary wars, along with Stephen Decatur. And something tells me that he's probably rolling in his grave at the thought that a US destroyer has four pirates on a dingy without fuel and we're going into the second day of this without any resolute action," he says.

Asked if he sees a distinction between piracy and terrorism, he says, "I would argue…that piracy actually is…the original terrorism, the original crime against humanity because it's a crime ultimately against civilization. For centuries, international law actually described pirates as…enemies of the human race because they, in essence, rebelled against the international system and peaceful commerce. And certainly in the age in which we live today, the disruptive effect of even the small number of successful pirate hijackings is staggering."

He says history shows that a military response can be successful, such as actions taken by the United States and other nations against pirates along the northern African coast in the two Barbary wars.

"That, for 200 years, has been a deterrent factor. No US merchant ship has been successfully hijacked by pirates," he says. He adds, however, "This time around, if the pirates get away with having hijacked, even unsuccessfully, a US flag cargo ship, it sends a very strong signal of perhaps a lack of will, especially in the case of Somalia where we know where the pirates are. We even know where the leaders literally live because they've built huge mansions that were put up in the last 18 months because of the piracy ransoms and revenues they gained," he says.

He says four UN Security Council resolutions and agreements with the interim Somali government allow the use of force. "If we don't root out these nests of piracy or at least send a very strong signal, we will end up telegraphing is a very strong signal of weakness," he says.

Pham says that any military strikes against Somali pirates can be very selective, such as destroying the pirate mother ships that launch speedboats or destroying the mansions built by the pirate leaders. He says before the mansions are destroyed, a warning should be issued telling occupants to leave, as Israel does in the Gaza Strip. 

Call 9-1-1

If you bake it, they will come

CINCINNATI - "Bailout" was the magic word as Domino's had to give away thousands of free pizzas because someone stumbled on an online promotion the company scrapped.

Domino's Pizza Inc. spokesman Tim McIntyre said Wednesday that the company prepared an Internet coupon for an ad campaign that was considered in December but not approved.

He says someone apparently typed "bailout" into a Domino's promo code window and found it was good for a free medium pizza.

 

Salt anyone?

One things for sure...

...If the product is dangerous, let's give regulatory power to the FDA!

 

WASHINGTON – The federal government would for the first time have regulatory powers over the tobacco industry under a bill the House approved Thursday after years of campaigning by anti-smoking forces. The measure, passed 298-112, gives the Food and Drug Administration authority to regulate — but not ban — cigarettes and other tobacco products.

 

All right! Its now official. Smoking can kill you.

 

Given the track record of the FDA recently, my guess is that there will be cigs hanging from the mouthes of babes inside 3 years with the 'stern warning' that 'cigarettes may cause cancer'.

 

Nothing like a little more regulation from our dear democratic congress. Way to go Teddie! Just die, will you. Mary Joe!

 

Why regulate it? Just make tabacco illegal. Save tons of money. Ah, I forgot. You cannot tax something that is illegal. Damn.

 

Got a fag?

 

 

Finally

At last! At last! At last!

 

ER will be taking it's death-blow this week and going off-air.

 

I guess the question remains: What potato-head show will replace it? Perhaps we can get a cross between American Idol and ER where the doctors try and revive some of the careers of the A.I. losers, runners-up, AND winners?

 

I'd watch that just for the comedic relief.

 

:)

Ken Rosenthal

This is classic stuff...pilfered from FOX:

 

Just another ho-hum Yankees season ...

April 6: Opening Day at Camden Yards. CC Sabathia pitches seven shutout innings, but reliever Brian Bruney gives up a three-run homer to the Orioles' Nick Markakis in the eighth and the Yankees lose, 3-2.

Before a reporter even asks a question, manager Joe Girardi blurts out, "We are committed to Joba as a starter."

April 14: Serena Roberts' book, "A-Rod, The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez," is released, revealing scandalous details about Rodriguez's personal life and additional allegations about his past steroid use.

Rodriguez's eight public-relations firms stumble over each over trying to issue the first denial. Madonna weighs in from Malawi, saying no man in history has been more persecuted.

April 15: In a tearful interview with CBS' Katie Couric, A-Rod discloses that he used steroids in 1994, '95, '96, '97, '98 ... every year of his career, actually.

"I feel so much better finally telling the truth," he says.

"Are you taking anything now?" Couric asks.

"Only HGH," Rodriguez says, sniffling. "I swear, only HGH."

April 16: Sabathia throws a 137-pitch complete game as the Yankees defeat the Indians in the opening of the new Yankee Stadium, 3-1.

"Girardi wanted to pull him after seven, but CC looked out to the bullpen and told him, 'No chance,' " an unnamed Yankee tells the New York Post.

 
A-Rod may have more to say to Katie. (Scott Gries / Getty Images)

April 24: Mark Teixeira continues his career-long struggles in April by going 0-for-4 with three strikeouts in his first game at Fenway Park as a member of the Yankees.

"We had to take a stand," Red Sox owner John Henry says when asked about his team's failure to land Teixeira. "It's an outrage that, without a salary cap, the Yankees were permitted to exceed our modest bid of $168 million."

May 1: A-Rod returns from hip surgery two weeks sooner than expected, and quiets the furor over his recent on-stage appearance with Beyonce by going 2-for-4 with a homer in a rousing 6-4 win over the Angels.

May 10: A.J. Burnett tells reporters that he is experiencing "a little stiffness" in his throwing shoulder.

May 11: Girardi, seeking to continue his more open, honest relationship with the media, gathers the Yankees' beat writers for an update on Burnett.

"A.J. is fine," Girardi begins, only to be interrupted when Burnett appears at his office door, his arm in a sling.

"Got a sec, skip?" Burnett asks.

May 12: Burnett undergoes season-ending rotator-cuff surgery.

May 17: More bullpen trouble: The Twins' Joe Mauer hits a game-winning double off Yankees reliever Jose Veras.

 
If Joba's closing this summer, something's really wrong. (Jim McIsaac / Getty Images)

Girardi repeats, "We are committed to Joba as a starter."

May 13: Cashman issues a vote of confidence for Girardi, saying he will remain manager for the rest of the season.

Hank Steinbrenner, speaking publicly for the first time in 2009, refutes Cashman, telling the New York Daily News that the GM meant "for the rest of the month."

June 2: Derek Jeter fails to stop two slow grounders up the middle while Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus makes several acrobatic plays at the Stadium, prompting a barrage of post-game questions.

June 3: A-Rod, showing increased agility at third base, publicly offers to switch positions with Jeter "for the good of the club."

Jeter declines comment, then makes two diving plays and goes 3-for-4 with two doubles.

The front page of the Post the next day features a doctored photograph of Rodriguez with a piece of tape over his mouth under the headline, "Shaddup!"

June 12: Yet another blown save: The Mets' Carlos Beltran hits a game-winning, three-run homer off Yankees reliever Damaso Marte in the eighth inning of the Subway Series opener.

Afterward, Chamberlain asks to meet with Cashman and Girardi.

June 13: The Yankees announce that Chamberlain will return to his setup role. Mariano Rivera, next-to-last in the AL in save opportunities, embraces Chamberlain in the clubhouse.

July 15: The Yankees, in need of a starter, sign free-agent right- hander Ben Sheets.

July 20: Cashman pulls off the coup of the trading season, acquiring Blue Jays right-hander Roy Halladay for right-hander Chien-Ming Wang, outfielder Melky Cabrera, shortstop Ramiro Pena and reliever David Robertson.

 
Beyonce: The next apple of A-Rod's eye? (Jesse D. Garrabrant / Getty Images)

July 31: Cashman makes one more move with the Yankees in the middle of a six-game losing streak, obtaining sure-handed shortstop Adam Everett from the Tigers as "just in case something happens to Derek."

Aug. 2: The Yankees lose their eighth straight. Rivera is shut down with elbow soreness. Chamberlain becomes the closer.

Aug. 3: Japanese newspapers report that Bobby Valentine, manager of the Chiba Lotte Marines, mysteriously boarded a plane to New York.

Aug. 4: Valentine replaces Girardi.

Aug. 19: A-Rod, mired in a 6-for-57 slump, limps noticeably throughout the Yankees' west-coast trip, then jokes about his struggles, saying, "I'm distracted. I've got a crush on Beyonce."

Aug. 20: Beyonce's husband, Jay-Z, responds with a new single, "Sucka got no juice" that immediately rockets to No. 1 on ITunes.

Aug. 25: A-Rod undergoes his second hip surgery.

Aug. 26: The Yankees claim Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre off waivers.

Sept. 1: The final month opens with the Yankees trailing the Rays by five games in the AL East and the Red Sox by three in the wild-card race.

Valentine announces two dramatic moves:

Everett will take over at shortstop, with Jeter moving to center field, effective immediately. 

Sabathia will pitch on three days rest for the remainder of the season.
"Derek has been taking flyballs for about a month now, before any of you guys get to the park," Valentine tells reporters.

Jeter insists he is comfortable with the change.

"Just don't expect Bernie Williams," he says with a wink.

Sept. 4: Jeter soars over the wall at SkyDome to make a leaping backhand grab on a potential game-winning homer by the Jays' Vernon Wells.

Sept. 9: The Yankees complete a three-game sweep of the Rays, moving within two games of first place.

Sept. 15: A taped inspirational message from A-Rod is shown on the video board at the Stadium.

The crowd boos.

Sept. 25: The Yankees begin their final homestand with a bang — a game-winning, ninth-inning grand slam by Teixeira off Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon.

Sept. 28: This is it, Royals vs. Yankees, final series of the season, postseason implications for both clubs.

The opener is one for the ages.

Zack Grienke helps the Royals reduce their magic number in the AL Central to one, pitching a no-hitter to defeat Halladay, 1-0.

Sept 29: Sabathia, clearly exhausted, lasts only two-plus innings. The Royals become the first club to stage a title celebration at the new Stadium.

Sept. 30: Final day of the season, Yankees and Red Sox tied for wild- card lead.

Sheets is brilliant, shutting down a collection of Royals backups. But John Smoltz is even better at Fenway Park, stifling the Blue Jays with a complete-game shutout.

Two straight years without a postseason appearance. Nine straight without a World Series title.

"We need Matt Holliday," Hank Steinbrenner mutters as he leaves the stadium, looking ahead to the free-agent market. "Holliday, Manny and John Lackey."

Texas Hold'em Math Pre-Flop

Some fun and basic card math:

 

650K/65K/4K/700/500/250/45/20/1.25/even. Those are the odds of getting a 5-card poker hand by rank from Royal Flush down to no pair.

 

In Hold'em: first two cards - pre-flop
* 52 (number of cards you could be dealt off the top of the deck)
* 51 (number of cards minus the first you could be dealt of the top of the deck as your second card)
52x51 = 2652;
Since you can be dealt the cards in either order: 2652/2 - 1326 <==== IMPORTANT NUMBER

There are 6 ways to be dealt each pair: Spade-Heart/Spade-Diamond/Spade-Club/Heart-Diamond/Heart-Club/Diamond-Club.

There are 16 ways to get any two non-pair cards together. For example, AK can combine as (given s=spade,h=heart,d=diamond,c=club,A=Ace,K=King):
AsKs/AsKh/AsKd/AsKc/... x4 for four different suits = 16. Since four of these combinations are suited (AsKs/AhKh/AdKd/AcKc), and 16/4 = 4, you may deduce that 1/4th of all unpaired, 2-card hands will be suited.

 

Summary So Far, with minimal math:
1) 1326 different hold'em hands pre-flop
2) 6 ways to make a pair
3) 16 ways to make an unpaired hand
4) 1/4th of unpaired hands are suited.

and...

5) Disregarding suits, there are 169 different possible two-card hands (13x13=169). Any one of the thirteen ranks can combine with any one of the other thirteen ranks.

6) Of the 1326 hands from #1, 78 of them are pairs: [#2]6 ways to make a pair * 13 ranks = 6 x 13 = 78.

7) Based on #6, [#1]1326 different hold'em hands / [#6]number of pairs 78 = 1326/78 = 17. 1 out of 17 hands will be a pair. 17:1 against to make a pair.

 

8) Based on #7, you have a 1 in 221 chance of being dealt a specific pair (usually Aces). [#7]17 * [number of cards in a suit]13 = 221.

9) With no information about a players hand, you know the odds are 16:6 (or 8:3) that he does NOT hold a pocket pair. How? [#3]16 ways to make an  unpaired hand, and [#2]6 ways to make a paired hand. 16:6. Or, 8:3. The unpaired hand is 2 2/3rds more likely (3 * 2 2/3 = 8).

 

Isn't math exciting!

Black and Gold

Get ready, chowdaheads. The Black and Gold are back with a vengeance.

Don't know if you've been paying any attention to the local sports scene, but the Bruins are about to enter the playoffs as one of the top 3 teams in the entire league. Forget the Celtics. Forget the Pats. Forget the Revs. Put the Sox back on the stove for a couple of months. Gear up, potatoes, GEAR UP!

My face still hurts this morning from just WATCHING Lucic punch that poor bastahd right in the cheek on the Tampa Bay team last night. All I can say is I'm pretty sure he won't stand in again against "Cam Neely #2" anytime soon...Ouch! Dropped him like a pair of undies on prom night....No you didn't say that! Remembah?